Do you know anyone who has truly achieved work/life balance? I don’t! We have been sold a myth!
Think of a scale that is stable, level, “in balance” and stationary. Is there movement? NO! This coveted work/life balance state we are driving ourselves crazy to achieve is equal to living in a state of stagnant non-movement just like the balanced scale. If we stay there too long we could get quite rusty and stuck from the lack of action! Is this what we really want? I don’t think so.
There is a time when going to this “balanced” no movement place is essential. Stepping into a quiet and centered place to meditate, refocus, rejuvenate and ground helps us tune into our
hearts and minds to shift out of chaos and into calm and ease. Doing these 60 second “time-outs” throughout the day taps into intuitive guidance and achieves mental and emotional equilibrium leading to the answers we seek.
If Not Work/Life Balance Then What?
Work/life harmony replaces work/life balance and flows easily between the five pillars of life; health, career, finance, spirituality and relationships.
At times, you may be called to pay more attention to one area than another. For example, you may need to focus intensely on your or a loved one’s health. At another time you may need to focus on relationship challenges.
When living a harmonious life, the scales tip where needed. It goes back and forth, and just like the ebb and flow of ocean tides, sometimes it’s soft and soothing, and at other times the
waves hit us hard. This is movement, reality and how life works. When we learn how to move between these five pillars, with heart-centered focus, we can flow with it – if we choose.
The following steps help you understand the concept.
Step 1. Set boundaries and make self-care a priority.
One of the worst burnouts I had was during the most important leadership role of my life. My husband, a Naval officer, was in command of a ship that was constantly on deployment. I truly took my role as “the commanding officer’s spouse” very seriously since I knew the time away would be made easier if the crew knew someone at home was supportive of their families. Unfortunately, in my zeal to serve and make a difference for the crew’s families, I forgot to take care of me. There were no boundaries on my time and self-care. For 3 years I allowed the phone to ring from early morning to late at night. I was in a constant state of giving and doing. The result was that after my husband’s tour we moved to Newport, RI and the following six months saw me doing nothing as I recuperated and took care of me.
Would I do it all again? In a heartbeat. The experience gave me the opportunity to teach leaders the valuable lesson of creating and honoring boundaries.
So please, tighten it up and learn when to say “no” and when to say “yes.” Tune in to your body and ask yourself how you feel. If there is discomfort, pay attention to it, and if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it.
Step 2. Let go and delegate.
What do you have to do yourself and what can be delegated to others? This is important. We tend to take on others’ drama because it’s “easier” than giving them explanations and showing them what to do. Or, they don’t do a task as well as you. GET OVER IT! Delegate, let go and allow others to practice and learn. Stop depriving the other person of learning and responsibility.
Step 3. Allow energy to flow easily between the pillars.
When we allow flexibility and flow, instead of constant resistance due to our need for control or fear of change, we move easily between the pillars. According to Newton’s First Law of Motion, a body at rest will remain at rest (the unmoving balanced scale) unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion (the scale shifting between the pillars of life) unless acted upon by an outside force. This constant motion is called life.
Step 4. Give yourself a break and focus on what is really important.
Some situations will need more time and attention than others. That’s what work/ life harmony is about! Stay present in the moment and breathe deeply. Focus on what is in front of you. Shift out the “I have to do this, I have to do that” syndrome, and focus on what matters most: the people in your life. The tasks will always be there. When you do this, something amazing happens: things get done. At the beginning or the end of the day take a 30,000-foot view of your day and life, and adjust. There is no right or wrong. It’s about doing what feels right.
Step 5. Get clear on YOUR personal meaning of wealth and what it means to you.
Each pillar is wealth: great relationships, excellent health, exciting career, spiritual connection and financial freedom. Unfortunately, many entrepreneurs and professionals focus solely on the pursuit of money. Remember: with great health and relationships you can make more money!
Keep your stress in check and do the following steps daily for work/life harmony and alignment:
• Every day, tell those who mean the world to you that you love and appreciate them.
• Constantly breathe deeply and tap into your inner guidance.
• Save and invest a percentage of your daily income.
• Continuously fine tune your skill sets.
• Align yourself with the important things in life.
Without your health and relationships, you have nothing! With them you have the currency of life and the opportunity to create and enjoy a business, career and life that brings financial rewards and tremendous joy as you serve with heart, mind and soul.
