I have a question for you today. Who is steering your life? Are you at the wheel?
Are you living your life by design or by default?
Life as a Passenger
When we were children, most of us didn’t get the opportunity to design our life. If we were lucky, we may have been allowed to choose a fun activity or two to participate in or the friends we wanted to hang out with. But much of our childhood life was decided for us.
Our teachers decided what we learned, who we sat near, and what homework we had to do.
Our parents decided what we ate, when we went to bed, when we woke up, and what we wore. (On this last point – I was a young kid in the 1970’s. I wore some pretty GROOVY stuff back in the day! No way am I taking “credit” for the outfits I am wearing in old photos!!)
Learning to Drive
As kids, we get so used to having our life designed for us that we may not realize we have to take the design responsibility over when we become an adult. As a result, we fail to consciously design our life and end up living life by default instead.
This is a little like getting in a car with no destination in mind, turning the key, putting it in drive and thinking, “I sure hope I end up somewhere good!” as you pull out onto the street.
Let’s face it, if you don’t know where you want to go, you are unlikely to get there. Or, as Zig Ziglar said, “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”
So what should you do if you realize you have been living by default and are not in a place or situation that you would choose to be?
Start thinking about what you want. Look at all aspects of your life and decide which parts you like and which parts you would like to change. Then start planning a route that will take you from where you are to where you want to be.
Your Assignment
Sit down with paper and pen (or at the computer) and create a design plan or blueprint for your life.
Look at the seven core areas of your life – Relationships, Health, Career, Environment, Spirituality, Money and Legacy. Describe each of these areas in terms of what you want to do, how you want to feel and what you want to have. Be specific and write your descriptions in a way that feels good to you.
Once you have your blueprint written out, use your descriptions to help you make decisions in your life.
For instance, if you want a career that allows you to put your family first and are offered a promotion that will require you to travel, evaluate this opportunity not just based on your Career goals but based on the descriptions of all seven of the categories.
Does the new position allow you to do more of the types of work activities that you love most in your Career? Does it provide an increase in salary? Does it provide Money that can be used to hire help for household tasks thus permitting you to reclaim some of the travel hours and preserve your family Relationships?
If this career move has MANY benefits that are in line with the design of the life you desire, you can consider accepting the promotion. However, if the new structure and responsibilities will move you further away from the life you wish to create, you can confidently decline the offer knowing that it does not support the goals you have and the design your have created.
Get some paper and a pen and create the design plan for your life. Grab that steering wheel and begin living your life by design!
