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Releasing Judgment to Invoke True and Lasting Change

Releasing, Judgement, ChangeSome days just feel like a ping pong match inside of my head.  Can you relate?  That voice of judgement and criticism that plagues me at times.  Back and forth, back and forth, judgement and criticism of my decisions, thoughts, and words, etc. 

What I have found is that judgement usually pops up around the time when I start to make a conscious decision to become the highest version of myself and start to shift something in my life.   I start off strong and then my old patterns rise up.  This may look like anger, or impatience towards my kids, spouse, other situations, etc.  Sometimes it’s indecisiveness when faced with simple decisions in my day.  What occurs then are the feelings of guilt and shame around those emotions that I no longer wish to have.  Judgement starts to rise up and says something like “I can’t believe I did that”, or “Here you go again, you will never change”.  

If you can relate to any of this then keep reading because this is just for you! 

How does it make you feel when you go through the guilt, shame and judgement process?  I’m guessing it makes you feel pretty heavy and pretty worthless?  I know it doesn’t make me feel very uplifted. 

Whenever we choose to make a decision to shift and change our life in positive way this pattern often happens.  Our ego wants to protect us and keep us safe.  Our old patterns will rise to the surface and we will fall victim to them and to the guilt and shame if we aren’t aware of the following things: 

To make a significant change in our life we have to allow it to take time.  We have been so conditioned in our culture of the expectation of a ‘quick fix’.   This is a journey and when we start to embrace that and become aware old patterns and judgement we will be in a much better to allow the change or shift to ‘stick’. 

Our old patterns are habits…they are habits that we have learned for many, many years and we literally have to unlearn those habits.  We literally have chemicals in our body that are released and we are emotionally addicted to them.  If it’s anger you are trying to release know that your body is releasing chemicals and you are getting a ‘fix’ on some level because of that. 

When we start to understand the process our body and mind go through when we make a shift we can start releasing the judgment about it and learn to allow. 

Here are a couple steps to be aware of the next time you are wanting to make a positive change in your life:

  • Realize that your emotions are habits that have been learned over time
  • Your emotions release certain chemicals that your body is addicted to and therefore when you try to change your body is literally in a revolt and will do anything to get that ‘fix’.
  • When the unwanted emotions or feelings come up learn to just acknowledge them and sit with them vs. pushing them away and judging them.   
  • After sitting with the unwanted emotion and allowing it to just be what it is thank it for being with you and serving you for a time. Tell the emotion that you no longer need it in your life. 
  • Remind yourself of the emotion that you want instead and step into that new emotion. Feel what the new emotion feels like and visualize yourself in a situation where you are using it. 

Change will come from awareness and allowing.  Judging ourselves or our unwanted emotions will never take us to being the best version of ourselves. 

It is by allowing that we achieve our true creative purpose!!

Allowing what is showing up in your life to just be what it is….without judgement. What is the message that Spirit is trying to breakthrough you!! (Breakthrough!!)

It’s when we resist and judge as good or bad that we get in the state of depravity, anxiety, and depression.

BE in the state of allowing!! Just BE.

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About the author 

Erin Esser

Erin Esser is a master coach, facilitator, speaker, podcast host and published author. Erin is the creator of the transformational, 9 month program entitled Awaken Your Purpose where she takes women on a journey of self discovery and self mastery. Erin has the ability to take women who feel lost and feel as if they are living someone else's life to a place where they start to embrace their own truth, their worth and start living a life of purpose. Erin is also a co-host on the podcast "Your Sacred Witness", where she spotlights stories of women who have used their own struggle as the catalyst in finding their purpose in their life, and giving women hope that they aren't alone. Erin lives in Charlotte, NC with her amazing 3 kiddos. You can reach Erin at www.erinesser.com

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