Welcome to the ongoing column series, Living A Radically Engaged Life™. We are going deeper into what it means to live radically engaged and how living this way will bring out the very best you have to offer and best of all, to sustain this level of Being. In this issue we are focusing on understanding a crucial foundational piece, your Radical Self-Care™.
“You can’t change your life without changing yourself. So get ready to change!”
Because we are conscious life-learners we are always looking for ways to create meaningful change. Here self-care is upleveled to create the foundation to build your big dreams and cultivate your intimate relationships along with supporting your radiant health. This level of self-care is called Radical Self-Care™ and it may feel a bit rebellious – especially to those not consciously practicing self-care.
In my work I have discovered that my female clients have a much harder time cultivating self-care. It makes them feel “selfish” and selfish in our culture is a dirty word. We have been taught that giving is right and good, that wanting or desiring is selfish. Desire is the way we create. You, the beautiful creator that you are must create from desire or you will have a life filled with people, things and experiences that do not light you up. And without being lit up from the inside out, you will not bring your beautiful gifts to this world. We have got to get your light burning bright!
I’ve learned that when we care for ourselves deeply and deliberately we actually begin to care for others this way as well. We tell the truth (especially to ourselves) and we do things from DESIRE instead of a feeling of obligation (a sticky heavy energy). Radical Self-Care™ allows us to understand how caring for our emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being is the most powerful way we can align to our true nature. It’s like coming home to ourselves again and again. It is an organic evolutionary process — it looks different for each of us.
This way of honoring yourself takes patience, commitment and practice. And it is one of the most impactful things we can emulate to our friends, children and partners. You will feel an energy and alignment that will guide you toward deeper happiness and greater achievement.
When we are consciously caring for ourselves we are able to move with the dynamic flow of life. Our emotional health is stabilized and we feel the solid foundation of being able to balance what life throws at us. Creating our own Radical Self-Care™ practice can keep us at our best. Without it life’s everyday issues can move us far from center causing us hours or days to regain solid footing.
“As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul…” Hermes Trismegistus
Here’s the deal. Any success you achieve will be short lived without the strong and firm foundation for it to expand and grow upon. SELF-CARE is imperative to sustainable success. And as your success increases . . . your self-care must be upleveled as well. As your dreams get bigger . . . your self-care must get bigger as well.
Remember that self-care is your foundation. The foundation on which you grow your big ole dreams and which your success can rest upon with great stability. Radical Self-Care™ is like laying a solid brick down rather than egg shells. It can support the weight of your big life.
So, what does self-care mean to you? I’ve noticed that it changes as we change. Radical Self-Care™ is your right and responsibility to take care of your spiritual, physical, and emotional needs to be your best self. This isn’t just about pampering your outer self . . . it is much more about nurturing your inner self. And my dear it is absolutely up to us to have our needs of self-care met. It is our responsibility.
Repeat after me: My Self-Care is my responsibility!
Here are 5 steps to getting started on your Radical Self-Care™ journey.
Step 1. Make a Commitment to Yourself.
Turning attention to care for yourself in a more conscious way means setting the intention (remember we are creators of our life). It can be the simple statement of: I am responsible for my self-care. Or do this now, join the Radical Self-Care™ movement by giving your commitment. Print this commitment out and put it where you can remind yourself that YOU Matter!
Step 2. Today is MINE!
Start each day knowing that it is yours to create! Begin with intention, focus, and connection to what is important to you.
❣️ Get into a feeling. First get into gratitude. Gratitude is a very high vibrational feeling that opens you to possibility and receiving (help, answers, solutions, love, nourishment etc.).
❣️ Create a morning practice. Using your calendar (if you don’t use a calendar NOW is the time to start) block out regular time each morning to begin being more conscious of how you are using and receiving energy. The way you start the day will greatly impact the rest of your day. Once you develop your Radical Self-Care™ practice it may only take 15 minutes each day.
I can already hear the voice inside you screaming “I don’t have that kind of time”. Please try this. Getting up even 30 minutes earlier for your practice will move your day in really delicious ways. It has to be experienced to be believed. Growth isn’t meant to be easy. Those things we stretch for will move our lives in the direction of our dreams. Time to stretch beautiful!
❣️ Remove what doesn’t feel amazing! Yes we all have things that we need to do to make life go round. I am challenging you to use your Magical Calendar to be a tool. Use it to feel into how the day is planned and allow yourself to remove what doesn’t feel good. When your eyes move over your meetings, events and activities of your day and the energy within you feels crunchy (the energy is not exciting or smooth . . . it feels uncomfortably tight) then give yourself permission to free up space — get resourceful. Delegate the task, move it to later in the week, delete it altogether or find what can be tweaked to make it feel better. Let your feelings guide you.
❣️ Create a sacred space. It supports your practice to have a space that you have identified for your morning practice. Choose some place nurturing, private and make it sacred by including things that make you feel supported and amazing. A soft plush blanket, favorite scented candles, an altar, favorite books, oracle cards, or a journal are just some ideas. It doesn’t have to be a dedicated room, just a corner or a chair will do. Spend time here each day.
Step 3. Open to Receive
❣️ Ask yourself – What do I need now? The answer may surprise you. (sleep, rest, connection, space, quiet, food, touch, play etc.) Give yourself permission to figure out how to meet your needs. I guarantee that if this were someone you cared about – you would figure out how to get their needs met. Offer yourself the same love and get resourceful!
❣️ Allow others to give and learn to receive. Practice saying “yes” to everything others offer to you for a day . . . a week . . . a lifetime. It is surprising how much we don’t allow ourselves to receive. This is a life changer!
Step 4. CONNECT to Desire!
❣️ STOP Giving-up yourself: Many give-up, or sacrifice, themselves to other out of a desire to serve. A more conscious and sustainable way of living is to “give of” yourself. Giving-of yourselves requires you to be very honest with what you truly desire and have to give. When you come from a place of doing what you truly DESIRE to do and do that mindfully aware of how it will leave you feeling, then you make choices that leave you with plenty of energy to spare. You don’t end up feeling depleted and exhausted.
❣️ What do you desire? One of the best ways to reconnect to yourself is to understand the difference between what you like, what you love and what you desire. Create a list under each of these headers: 1. I Like this 2. I Love this 3. I Desire this. You will start to notice that there is a difference and that the feeling of like is different than love and that those are both different than desire. Desire is your fuel for creating a life deeply engaged with heart, mind and soul.
Step 5. Tribe – create a circle of support.
Most of us are not born into families or communities that can support our growth and consciousness. It’s almost as if we must go there alone. You don’t have to. Here at ASPIRE and in living a Radically Engaged Life™ you will find yourself magnetized to like-minded people on a self-growth journey. Find your tribe or create one. Being around those that “get you” will be one of the most supportive things you can do for your Radical Self-Care™.
I discovered that my happiness is directly related to how engaged I was in MY OWN life. I’m on a mission to help others define and create their very own Radically Engaged Life™ because I know when we live this way we are able to bring the fullness of who we are to our work, our families and ourselves.
Now let’s get our Radical Self-Care™ ON!
Rediscover your joy and take control of your happiness by living Your Radically Engaged Life™. Download the FREE “Live YOUR Radically Engaged Life” E-Book & Audio. Life and Business Coach Marianne MacKenzie inspires women to improve the quality of their life, up-level their business by transforming their level of her proven Radically Engaged Living System™.