“Create a life you love.” What exactly does that mean?
It is a phrase that is tossed around frequently. Oprah talks about it. Louise Hay talks about it. Jim Carrey talks about it. Advertisers use images that they think depict a life you would love to sell everything from cars and watches to beer and frozen meals. But what does creating a life you love really mean?
That’s a tricky question because the answer is different for every person on earth. Some may love adventure, some may love the challenge of seeking career success at the highest level, and some may love doing good for others whether that be through teaching, coaching or serving in some other way.
And what about the “love” part? If you love your life what does that mean? Does it mean you love every single day, even the days you would never want to repeat like the day you lost your job or the day a loved one passed away? It feels hard and maybe a little unrealistic to have to love those days too.
And yet we all know that we will have to live through some hard days. So how do they fit into a life you love?
These questions that I’ve posed can stop you from even thinking about living a life you could love. The questions may make the prospect of loving your life seem complicated or impossible or unrealistic. But I promise it is not. And as a first step toward creating a life you will love, I want to give you some of my insights.
Let’s start with the loving every day question. Is that what it means to love your life? I don’t think so exactly. I think there will be days in any life – a life you love or a life you hate – that you don’t want to relive. Days that make you sad or angry or make you hurt.
So for me a life I love means a life where I experience the fullness of every day. That means feeling and appreciating the joy of really great days and having the strength and compassion for myself to be open to processing the sadness and fear of the days I wouldn’t want to repeat. It means allowing myself to be vulnerable in order to fully experience the highs and the lows because I have faith in the bigger picture, faith in my higher purpose even if I can’t see it in the moment. It means creating a life of fullness and joy and love, and trusting that as I do this I will have fewer bad moments and I will be able to move through them more quickly.
So how do I build a life of fullness that I can truly have gratitude for in every day. For me it begins by defining what it looks like. Start by creating a blueprint detailing the life you want to create. And when I say detailing, I absolutely mean in detail.
Look at seven core areas of your life (relationships, health, career, money, environment, spirituality, and legacy) and describe exactly what you want to have, how you want to act, and how you want to feel in each of these areas. Describe it in as much detail as you can.
For instance, let’s say in the area of career you write that you want to be a successful real estate agent. Don’t stop there. Include where you want to work – is it in a big city like New York, London, or San Francisco? Or would you prefer to serve a mid-sized city or smaller town or perhaps a rural area? What type of office do you want? What does it look like? How do you feel when you walk in at the beginning of your day?
Pay particular attention to generic words that seem specific. In this example, the word I used was successful. What does it mean to you to be successful? Does it mean making a certain amount of money each year? Does it mean only selling homes worth over one million dollars? Does it mean having prominent business people, politicians, and celebrities as clients? Does it mean having a full team to support you? Or does it mean making enough money to support yourself while only having to work twenty hours a week? There is no one correct definition of success. The correct definition is the one that feels right to you.
Is it possible to create a life you love? I believe it absolutely is! In fact, I believe it is imperative for people to start reclaiming and reshaping their lives if we want a world that is more loving, compassionate, and tolerant. It is hard to feel love, acceptance, and compassion for others if we are frustrated with our own life and feel it is flying by too quickly for us to enjoy or for us to do any of the important things we are meant to do.
Start imagining what you would feel like at the end of a day if you had lived the fullness of that day and squeezed every last drop of living out of it. Hold that feeling within you as you create your blueprint for your life. Write out how you will feel, what you will do, and what you will have in each of the seven core areas of your life, and then decide what is the first action that you can take to begin reshaping your life so it matches your blueprint.
The world needs more people who are living a life they love. Begin the process of creating a life that you love and be an example that shows others the way!
