You don’t have to find out you are dying to start living. — Zach Sobiech
Living: Not dead; having life. Currently active.
We are not guaranteed a long, healthy, or easy life. I mean, certainly we can do things to protect ourselves. We can choose to eat foods that are GMO-free, organic, and as close to their natural state as possible. We can choose to run, surf, hike, bike ride, practice yoga, or meditate, all in an effort to lower our stress levels and keep our bodies strong. (It has only been a week. Please tell me you are keeping up with your healthy lifestyle resolution choices!) o Yet even with all these good lifestyle choices, we cannot predict the day that will be our last. Imagine if you were able to know the date that you would die. Imagine it was looming on a calendar. Would you live your life differently?
Tim McGraw’s song “Live Life Like You’re Dying” describes, in his perfect Southern twang, what the fictional character of his song did when he learned he had only months to live. He jumped out of an airplane, climbed the Rockies, rode on a bull named Blue Manchu, and was quick to love and forgive.
A cynic may say, “Sure, you can do that if you are dying, but if you aren’t dying, there are mortgages, rent, taxes, literally a stack of dishes in the sink that need washing, and a world of obligations that can stop you from riding a bull or climbing a mountain.” I agree it isn’t realistic to do all of these things (bummer, I had my eyes on Blue Manchu). H But come on, we can do some of it. We can stop saying “no” and maybe force ourselves to say, “yes” once in a while. Yes to something new. Yes to signing up to run a race. Yes to meeting a friend for dinner on a specific date each month. Yes to taking a bike ride with your kids every Sunday. The dishes in the sink? They’ll wait for you (if your family is anything like mine, I can guarantee they’ll wait for you). The bills, they’ll still be there waiting to be paid.
Here is the truth, and believe me it isn’t easy for me to tell you this, but you do need to know . . . you are dying. You might be thinking, “Dying? I don’t even have a cold!” Yet, every day you live brings you one day closer to your death. So with that cheery thought in the front of your mind I recommend making a list. No, not a bucket list (although that is fun, too). No, a list of wishes and dreams. This list should be a bit different than a bucket list because the purpose is not to create a list to cross things off until you are left with a list of scratched-out items and time on your hands. Nope, create a list that grows with you. Because as we hurl toward our impending demise, the truth is it should be fun! And it should be ever-changing. What was “fun” for me in my twenties, isn’t so fun anymore (wearing a bikini)! 
Seriously, I wanted to be an actress starting at age four. Around the time of my fortieth birthday, after working on some TV shows (Google Sally Kellerman Ghost Stories and you can see my debut), I decided that acting wasn’t for me—right now. It didn’t get scratched off my list, I just added more things to the list. I wasn’t giving up a dream. My life can change, and one day I will want to act again. Is acting on your list? Go to your local community theater and audition. If you don’t get the part, offer to work behind the scenes and then audition for the next one . . . and the next. Find it’s not for you? Keep it on your list and gracefully move on to your next “Blue Manchu.”
You know what I discovered was for me? Stand-up paddle surfing in head-high waves! I promise you, in a million years I never thought that would be for me; for a huge part of my life I was afraid of the ocean! But right now, you can’t get me out of the ocean (even in the winter in New York). It took time, going out on the flattest of days, riding small little ripples back to the shore, challenging myself to face a fear and reminding myself that I don’t have forever to learn this. You don’t either.
Speaking sweeter? Loving deeper? How can you not have time for that? YOU ARE DYING! It sucks, but now you know. So make yourself a “Living Wish List,” not once but a thousand times! Let it evolve, let yourself experience some of it and forgo some of it. Add new stuff and delete old stuff and then see what transpires for you. This is your wish list. I wish I surfed, acted, and spent more time reading. I wish I was nicer, was more fastidious, more resolute, ate more ice-cream (gasp), spoke more calmly to my teenagers (hey I didn’t say this list was easy). I wish, I wish, I wish. Make your list, filled with loving intentions, badass fear, concurring goals and wishes, and let it change. Remember, you aren’t married to it.
The truth is, the day I die I would love nothing more than for my family to see a list of dreams on the refrigerator and a bunch of dirty dishes in the sink. How about you?
© 2017. Excerpt from Kelly McGrath Martinsen’s newest book A Year of Inspired Living available at http://amzn.to/2spoepK
