What My Fear Told Me In the Middle of the Night

FearFears aren’t always as they seem. What appears as a fear of failure is really much deeper.

I woke up at 2:28am this morning with the thought that I’m afraid to fail in my business.  Really?  I haven’t been really afraid to fail at anything.  I’m a “give anything a try” kinda girl.  As long as you learn something along the way, it’s not a fail.

So, I started asking myself questions.  Yes, at 2:39 in the morning, sitting straight up in bed, next to the sleeping hubby and two dogs, I was having a conversation with myself.

Am I really afraid of failing?  Yes, I had put a lot of money in my business.  Yes, things weren’t going as the business plan had laid out.  And, yes, I do wish it were growing at a faster speed.  But, that’s not failing. 

So, what was really going on?  I sat there in the quiet, dark night and let the question linger in the night.  The answer I got actually floored me.

I have a full time Accounting Manager position at a beautiful resort near my home.  I absolutely love my job and the people I work with.  And summer is our busy season.  Therefore, I have been spending a ton of time at that office.

When I come home at night, I always have things to do.  Dinner, laundry and outside stuff.  Being outside is a grounding comfort after a day around people. 

Somehow, I manage to fill my weekends too.  There are family events, lunch with friends and shopping for the coming week.  Those of you who know me and have worked with me know I am a Nascar fanatic deluxe.  So, Sunday afternoons are already booked!!

Are you getting the picture?  I am making less and less time for my business.  But why?  I love my business and my passion is to help women bring their Spirituality into the daily lives.  I teach ways to balance both worlds of everyday life and Divine connection.

And there it is!  Who’s out of balance here?  Who’s been scooting around all week with her back out?  Who’s been having migraines and stomach issues, daily?  Not someone who is in balance.

But why?  Why am I doing this?  As I sit there in the stillness I ask this question.  I don’t feel that I am afraid to fail.  And that’s not the answer I received.  I am actually afraid to succeed!

I have a deep caring for each of my clients.  They become friends, people I truly care about.  If I succeed, I will have many more clients.  What if I’m not able to care about them like I do my current ones?

A gift of seeing things that my clients can’t see yet is a way I help them move through shit faster and easier so they can get on with the life they really want.  The thing with talents is that you aren’t always aware that you have one. 

It took me a long time to realize that my ability to see these solutions is a gift.  I couldn’t fathom that everyone else couldn’t imagine a different path to move from one place to the other.  Therefore, I didn’t value my gift. 

One thing I know for sure is that when you are playing with any kind of fear, doubts plague your talents.  If I succeed, will someone fay that I’m a fraud?  That I really don’t have a gift?

Well, guess what?  Even if I don’t succeed, someone is going to question my talents.  I know that God gave me the abilities to help others gain a stronger connection to the Divine. 

I would never in a million years think that somewhere deep inside, I was actually afraid to succeed.  Fortunately, I have ways to release fears.  That’s what I teach, right?!

Below are the ways I released my fear this morning.  I know you have read these following steps in other articles I have shared.  However, it never hurts to be reminded.

  • Name your fear – I named my “Suzie Successful” (doesn’t seem so scary now!)
  • Thank the fear – it is actually just a story your mind sold you to protect you
  • Send it away – “never to return for all eternity”
  • Put a new story in there to replace what you just release – I am continually successful beyond my imagination!

After I did these short steps, I fell peacefully back to sleep.  When I woke up again, my mind wasn’t racing and my body had relaxed.  So far today, my back doesn’t hurt, not headache and my stomach is at ease.

Here’s to success!!

Kimberly Tobin About Kimberly Tobin

Kimberly Tobin is a life coach, business strategist and speaker helping Spiritual women clearly acknowledge and use their gifts to create the life they can fully embrace daily. She is passionate about helping women see the opportunities right in front of them that fear and self doubt easily hide.

Kimberly works virtually with clients offering transformational programs, presentations and classes at her office in Missouri, as well as beautiful locations around the world. Learn more about Kimberly at www.KimberlyTobin.com and download her free gift: Through Fear to Fabulous – Learning to be You.