I want to be clear that what I am about to share is not to complain. Anyone who knows me knows that whining is not my style. But I wanted to share some recent experiences as an observation of where we are right now as a society with food and family, and how even I, a healthy family advocate, I can let moments slip by with out speaking up. I writing this so that you can hold me accountable, and perhaps find inspiration to hold yourself accountable for the impact that we moms can make on the current state of the standard American diet.
I have had a few very similar experiences lately when getting together with friends for dinner. They go something like this. We are invited for dinner at someone’s house. We offer to bring something and our asked to bring a dessert or one of our salads, which are well liked by our friends. We are a hard bunch to feed — no gluten, no dairy and for me no meat, and to top that off we are foodies. But friends rise to the occasion and fabulous meals get made. Think veggie curries, grilled veggies, tofu with elaborate sauces. And there is usually an element of some food prep together.
So imagine a fabulous time chopping and mixing, and eventually more friends come over and the wine comes out. And then we realize the kids are hungry. And out of nowhere come two large serving bowls of plain pasta or worse hotdogs — this is the kids’ meal. It is not my party, so I don’t protest. I very quietly get some of the curry and salad and put it on my children’s plates next to their pasta, and cut up some carrots to go all around. I should speak up, but I don’t want anyone to feel bad.
So in reflection my question is why are we not serving our kids the same foods we were enjoying? We may not sit all together because space does not allow, which also means that the kids never even see the colorful meal that has been carefully crafted throughout the afternoon.
And secondly, why can’t they sit? The children quickly scarf down the food on their plates and then are off. It is such a whirlwind that I am not sure who eats what, and I certainly don’t think the children say thank you or clear their plates.
Now mind you, I am friends with all of these people in my story, and we are all conscious and caring parents, but something around sharing meals has really shifted, and our new normal as a collective is kind of scary – and not very healthy!
Really, who decided that kids only eat plain pasta, chicken fingers, pizza, and hot dogs? Why is that what is on every “kids menu” at restaurants? For new parents, it is many times what we think we are supposed to choose for our kids, and when they are older, it is what they say they want.
I remember a story that a seventh grade boy in our carpool told me. He had gone on a field trip to a house that dated back to the American Revolution. The tour guide explained the family meal. He said that the women and children would prepare the meals. When it was time for supper, the adults would eat their meal while the children stood around the table quietly watching. If there was enough food left at the end of the evening then the kids could eat.
Of course I am not suggesting we go this far! But I do think that it would be good for kids to understand that eating together and sharing food is an amazing privilege, and to meet it with reverence. I also think that it is a time to lead by example and model what and how we want our children to eat. Kids are actually way more adventurous than we give them credit for! And they will sit if we sit with them. The American Revolution Family was eating food to survive. In the US today, we are eating to eat, but we could be eating to Thrive!
Imagine what would happen if we took the old traditions of preparing and eating food together and merged them with all the amazing knowledge we have about how food can heal us? It would be revolutionary!
So what is your next step?
