What does it mean to be successful? Success is a familiar concept that’s not easily explained. We all know it when we see it. Most strive for it. But what does it really mean?
For many, success is defined by the amount of money you earn, the things you own and the opportunities and experiences that are afforded to you. Some define winning as success. For others, it means accomplishing a goal or doing what seems impossible despite great odds. Improving a situation, learning a new skill or achieving a sense of satisfaction for a job well done can also feel successful.
Success conjures visions of leaders of industry and great historical figures who have fought to initiate change in social structure.
Since the time we learn to walk and talk we are encouraged to be successful in life. I suppose that’s why the fear of failure and the fear of being judged are so deeply rooted within us. In truth, there is no one definition of success. It’s objective and it’s personal.
The problem we face is when we look outside of our self to define our goals and what success “should” look like. When you value the expectations and needs of others over your own, you can’t help but, on some level, compromise parts of who you are and what you value in order to conform.
The old paradigm of success demands self-sacrifice, hard work, and struggle to get ahead. It originated from the time of empires with social structures that included class hierarchy, privilege for the few with hardship and struggle for the majority. We’ve continued these standards into the present day.
Currently one percent of the population controls ninety-seven percent of the world’s wealth. This creates a societal fear of scarcity supported by an underlying belief in lack that pervades our thinking. Success can seem difficult, if not impossible.
Worse yet, this pursuit of the proverbial carrot is not sustainable. It’s damaging to our individual wellbeing and our planet and it’s exhausting both our energy and our resources.
Our current day institutions were built on the foundations of power and control of a limited few over the majority. Over centuries these institutions have produced a way of being that creates, for many, an experience of lack which seems to give evidence that there is not enough to go around.
This cycle elicits within us the desire for safety, which appears to be achieved by having more money. In short, our desire to be successful is driven by our fear that we cannot feel safe until we reach a certain level of success.
There’s a concept referred to as structural privilege which basically means that at certain levels of prosperity it is easier for you to: create more wealth; experience opportunities; have access to more things in life; to achieve success.
Structure is good when it supports. It’s not so good when it precludes.
Because a small segment of the world’s population controls the majority of wealth, abundance and success feel exclusive. Security and wealth appear difficult to attain, perpetuating the belief that one needs to overcome, work hard, sacrifice and struggle to succeed. Social groups, like women and ethnic minorities, face additional challenges in this system of success because most are entering the success race further back from the starting line.
The sad thing is, so many find that once they’ve achieved their goal, they soon discover it doesn’t bring them the happiness and security they thought it would. Research tells us that things like status, power and (once we get beyond the poverty level) money don’t satisfy our desire for happiness.
So where does that leave us?
With the opportunity to rediscover what does bring us joy, then setting our goals and building our life around THAT. This is the feminine path to success.
The feminine principles of intuition, integration, collaboration, compassion, and generosity naturally lend themselves to achieving success in a way that feels fulfilling. It offers us the chance to look not only at our own needs and desires but to the needs and betterment of our community. Community includes our family and friends, the organizations and groups we belong to. Community is the towns and cities we live in, the countries we are born into and from a global perspective, the planet we live on.
Women are nurturers. We are relationship builders. We are creators. We are receivers. And we feel a profound sense of satisfaction when we support and help others.
To stifle, or worse deny, these intrinsic parts of us creates detachment from the very things that feed our bliss. It drains us. Is it any wonder so many women suffer from hormonal imbalances, adrenal fatigue and other stress-related diseases?
And men suffer too, because this isn’t a man versus woman thing. It’s a human being thing. The yin (feminine principles) and yang (masculine principles) exist in all of us. When these are in balance there is harmony.
The new paradigm of success embraces balance. Its goals come, not from outside of ourselves – which require us to control people and our experiences to feel happy – but from within. It asks you to have the courage to be truly honest with yourself about what you truly want. It demands self-love and acceptance because you can’t share your brilliance if you question your personal value and self-worth.
Following the feminine path to success is a path of the bigger picture. It’s rooted in the understanding that there are more than enough resources on this planet to sustain the people and animals who call it home.
We live in an ever expanding universe. Thousands of new species of plants and animals are being discovered every year! Yet we see limits around us and believe those to be evidence that there’s not enough, when the truth is there is so much more available to us than we realize.
The new success paradigm holds that there is no real competition because each person is truly unique. From a statistical standpoint, the odds of you being born as the individual that you are is about 1 in 400,000,000,000! Crazy when you consider that your odds of getting hit by lightning are a mere 1 in 576,000. Our lack of pure amazement when we consider how special we are is incredible.
The feminine path values vulnerability because we see the strength that can only come from sharing our struggles in a way that teaches personal growth and offers the gift of empowerment. The feminine path to success is not about getting, accumulating and doing what it takes by justifying the means to achieve the end goal. It’s a path to success and prosperity that is aligned with compassion, service, and generosity.
There is a saying that states “a rising tide lifts all boats.” When you take the feminine path to success, the level of your success both elevates your life and enhances the lives of others.
