“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~ Brené Brown
I have a history of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Throughout my life this trait has proved to be the source of great heartache and joy. Being open to feeling things on a deep level allows for rich and diverse life experiences. It also has led me down the path of being exposed and feeling hurt. Neither have ever been comfortable or desirable places to sit in and have had me wishing I could bury my head in the sand and be different than I truly am.
I am learning that accepting the pieces of me that make me vulnerable and raw is a true gift, as these characteristics are what make me human and unique.
I haven’t always viewed things in this light. It has been quite a journey to come to the point of recognizing that my vulnerable softer side is one of my greatest features that should be embraced, not hidden away under lock and key.
My sensitivity coupled with a longing to be loved and accepted by others resulted in hiding my true nature for far too long. It is scary to walk around exposed. Owning the parts of ourselves that may not be understood or accepted by others around us, sometimes even by the closest people to us, can prove to be daunting and a true challenge.
I learned very early on that if I wanted to be accepted by someone, I just needed to operate under the veil of people pleasing and perfectionism. I became very good at both. If I was the perfect friend, daughter, sister, wife, mother etc. and did what was expected of someone who was eager to please, then I would be accepted, and I was.
The only problem with this scenario, is that I sacrificed my authenticity and true nature as a result. All of these people were robbed of experiencing who I am deep down. Not only that, I could never truly feel fulfilled. I was scared that showing my true self would mean that I wouldn’t be accepted by the people in my life who expected me to show up a certain way.
The turning point came when I had my own children. Like any big life event, when our world changes and we take on a huge new role, our views and beliefs tend to get shaken up a bit. I believe big changes like this offer us up the perfect opportunity to shift and grow.
I realized that if I was going to be the role model my sons deserved, I would have to begin making some scary changes. This meant speaking up and vocalizing my truth to others who disagreed. It also involved following my passion of writing and not feeling like I have to be everything to everyone.
More than anything, I wanted my children to be confident and feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, emotions and true spirit. In order to model this, I knew had to start owning my story and showing myself a bit of compassion and respect for all of the pieces that make me who I am, deep emotions and all.
The ironic thing is that by making these small steps, I began to realize that I am the one who put all of these previous expectations on myself. Other people don’t usually put parameters and limitations on how we show up, we do that all by ourselves. If by chance we do come across people who only accept us a certain way, then they are certainly not worth keeping around and definitely not worth hiding parts of ourselves for.
Nothing inspires me more than people who own their stories with pride and who are fired up about what they have to offer the world. We all have a unique story and gift that is worthy of embracing and sharing as we choose. It requires a lot of courage to step into our true nature. I believe that making this leap of faith with self-compassion is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others around us.
While I certainly don’t claim to have it all figured out, I am happy to be a work in progress. It’s becoming much easier to embrace the softer side of who I am. Burying my head in the sand is no longer a desirable or possible option. I would much rather wear my heart on my sleeve any day.
