Why is midlife so crucial? It is the pivotal turning point of life. The moment on the middle of the bridge where you can’t go back to your 20’s and 30’s, but you have this new unchartered path in front of you. It has truly become my favorite time because it can be a period of huge transformation, self-discovery, self-mastery, and growth.
Our 20’s are all about what we are “supposed to be doing”. Society tells us we are supposed to get a degree, find a job, excel at it, find a husband, get married, and have kids.
Our 30’s are “supposed to be” all about growing our family. We might be faced with juggling a husband, children, and a career – whether that be a stay-at-home mom or out in the workforce.
Our 40’s might begin to resemble our 30’s, with more family time, as the kids get older. We might be reintegrating into the workforce or taking on additional responsibilities to advance our career.
It might be, at this point, that we figure out life has been dedicated to making other people happy and/or putting others first. We might be experiencing burn out, a general sense of unhappiness, or realizing that we molded ourselves to be what someone else wanted us to be. We might come last and usually by then we don’t know that anyone cared what “last” was.
At midlife, we have the opportunity to say, “I am the priority”.
Midlife allows us to do an examination of our life and see what is working and what is not. We have hopefully garnered some wisdom to take stock in what is going on. I know that I don’t want to be performing an examination when I’m 80 regretting that I didn’t make any changes or that I battled my entire lifetime to fit into a mold that wasn’t for me or that I didn’t take my own dreams, needs, and wants into consideration.
In terms of decades, life becomes pretty short and much more precious as we become increasingly aware that life can be taken away at any moment. We can experience an awakening. Are we happy? What is the lifestyle we want to lead? How would we feel if our life was cut short? Would we be at peace with the way we live each day? What small changes can we incorporate over time?
Rather than a negative “midlife crisis” – why not view this time as an opportunity to evolve? It becomes a chance to create the new! It doesn’t have to be this inner battle or throwing away the entire first ½ of our lives. It doesn’t have to be filled with regret or giving up that this is the life you are resigned to live. It doesn’t have to be acting out and doing things outside of our truth even if you haven’t identified what that truth is.
Midlife can be a scary stretch realizing that one’s life is ½ way over and there isn’t much time left. There can be emotions of fear, uncertainty, angst, anxiety, and maybe even depression. Try to look at your life in the bigger picture as a journey. That the decades are stretches along the way that are filled with memories, mistakes, adventures, people and a range of accompanying emotions. This IS your life. Embrace it!
If we look at the journey, moving forward – how much of it can we place and do to create the life we desire. Yes, there will be factors outside of our control that will happen. But, if you could be the designer of your own life, what would you do to ensure certain aspects happen that you want? So when you look back in 40+ years, your journey of your life is like shells on a beach – treasures amongst the miles of sand.
Here are 6 reflective processes to help you tap into your authentic truth and navigate your midlife journey:
- Meditate – Take some time to breathe and create space for your heart and mind and soul to connect.
- From a distance, as if you are a spectator of your own life, visualize your life from your 20’s and 30’s. What did you love? What do you regret? What would you change and can you do something about it now?
- Think about your feelings in your current state. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Do you love your job? What are you doing that is nurturing for you?
- If you had no restrictions, what would you want your next 40 years to look like? Are there items on a bucket list to accomplish? Are there things you aren’t doing out of fear? Are you focusing on just surviving? Are you a priority or have you relegated you to the last place on your to-do list?
- At 80 years old, what do you want to look back and be proud of? What feelings do you want to experience? How will you transition to the next phase – will it be with a sense of fulfillment? Or angst and regret?
- What wisdom will you have developed and whom would you pass it along to? What would be your advice to the next midlife generation? How can they have an impact on their own lives and the lives of others?
Midlife can be a wonderful experience! A time to let go, breathe, love yourself, and create the life you deserve! It takes courage and strength, but you can do this. Your entire life to this point is part of who you are, but it doesn’t have to define you. Go out and do! Go out and get! Go out and be! Embrace it! Your future self will thank you for it!
