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Disconnect to Reconnect to Yourself and the World Around You

Disconnect to Reconnect to Yourself and the World Around You by Shannon Elhart | #AspireMag

Our world has become much smaller due to technology, and there’s a lot of good in that.  Personally, I’ve enjoyed building friendships with people around the world via my business and personal life.  I also believe it’s creating more tolerance and shared love in our global community.

I have fun with social media, Youtube, Skype, and all my other tech-y gadgets.  Although I’ve never been a video game kind of girl, my kids have even managed to get me a little hooked on TenTen (my high score is over 3K – LOL).

This can all be fun and helpful, but it’s sucking the presence out of many people’s lives.  Have you ever looked around while in public and noticed all the people who are on their phone?  I once saw (ironically, I watched it while in Facebook) someone walking with their phone, looking at it… and she walked right into a water fountain!

Recently I was standing in a friend’s office when my phone rang.  It was resting on top of a stack of books I was carrying.  I ignored it – didn’t even look down to see who was trying to reach me.  She stumbled with her words, looked at me curiously, and finally said ‘Aren’t you going to get that?’

I simply said, ‘No, I’m with you right now.’  I admit, I’m not always that good with my resistance to at least peek at the screen as it lights up with a phone call, text message, or email notification, but I’m getting better.  It feels great to be more in my moment.

I don’t propose that we give up technology altogether, but I do support being more mindful with how we use it and how often it’s part of our day.  Hopefully you’ll try each of the eight tips I have below… if you do, I’m sure you’ll enjoy a slower pace and the peace you’ll feel at just being IN each moment!

1)  Go for a walk outside without any technology (even without your phone).  Stop somewhere to take in the sights, the sounds, the feel of nature around you.  Try putting all your attention into one sense at a time – your vision, your hearing, your touch, or even your emotional state.  If you happen to see the world’s most amazing sunset ever, just take it in to your memory… trust me, someone will post a photo of it on Facebook if you absolutely have to see it again.

2)  Choose one thing you do each day – a simple, mundane task or action like washing dishes, taking a shower, or playing with your dog.  Put a reminder note near that area stating something like ‘I am present’ or ‘I do one thing at a time.’  Each day practice being fully present with that one task.

3)  Meditate every day for three minutes (or more).  If you don’t think you know how, you do – it’s our natural state.  Simply sit comfortably, relax your entire body, pay attention to your breathing, and do not try to have a quiet mind.  When you fight your thoughts, they become stronger, and you’ll likely get frustrated and give up.  These three minutes are proven to bring down blood pressure and create calm in your day.  If you feel stressed, sit for eleven minutes.  Research has shown that cortisol levels (the hormone released when stressed) are reduced in that short amount of time.

4)  Turn off your phone more often: when eating, when ending your work day, when enjoying a movie or social event.

5)  Do not keep your phone with you all the time.  Leave it in your car when you run an errand.  Leave it in another room when you sleep.  Leave it while you garden, play a game with your kids, go for a walk, cook, or make love (okay, that one should be a given!)

6)  When you have to wait – at a doctor’s appointment, at a stoplight, in line at a store… just be there Avoid checking your phone or scanning Facebook.  Choose to relax your body and focus on your breathing.

7)  Unplug from everything for the last hour of your day.  Rather than check email or scan through your social media, grab a book, cuddle with someone you love, enjoy a cup of tea, have a calming conversation, or make a list of why you’re grateful for the day that’s coming to an end.

8)  Eat mindfully.  Chew slowly.  Savor the flavors.  Notice the aroma.  Really enjoy blessing your body with healthy food.

Spend your time as you desire but with more awareness.  Be present in life.  Be with those you love dearly.  Breathe.  Feel your life happening.  Enjoy the sunshine and the rain.  Pull away from all the connections in life so you can connect with you and the world around you.

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About the author 

Shannon Elhart

Shannon Elhart is a life coach, author, and speaker who teaches mindfulness and happiness. Her signature program Happiness of You™ and her monologue and workshop on healing your past, FIERCE monologue™ guide people to mindfully let go of their past and live happily in the Now.

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  • This disconnecting idea is spot on…and I try to practice it as much as possible. I took my kids to dinner last night and told them they would need to disregard their phones, that we were actually going to LOOK at each other and interact like in “the old days”. It was wonderful, but I have difficulty getting my kids on board…it always starts an argument….and I hate the negative energy. When I can finally get my kids to disconnect, they get together with their friends who constantly want to be on their phones!!! Even at slumber parties with 10-15 girls, they all sit on their phones! What ever happened to interacting? Anyone have any ideas?

    • Great comment, S.G. I have two teenagers, and I see this issue often. I also see it with adults – which is equally as sad.

      For me, I’ve made clear guidelines WITH explanation. For instance, none of us (including myself) touch technology before we’re heading out the door for the day. And we include at least 3 minutes of meditation (I do more on my own, but with my kids on a school morning – it’s three minutes).

      Another one is that their phones are not allowed in their bedrooms while sleeping or doing homework.

      These expectations have all been discussed, but I also keep in mind that just like the rationale of ‘we need to clean our rooms every one in a while’ might not make sense to them… these expectations don’t need to make sense. And they probably won’t at their age (remember being a teenager? 😉 )

      Finally, I model not being plugged in. When I set an expectation like no phones out at dinner, I follow it too. Then I really try to encourage a better interaction – asking questions, remembering fun things, etc.

      I hope this helps!

      (p.s. I’ve also asked friends to leave their tech at the door… it’s okay being the ‘weird mom’)

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