Resistance. It’s what keeps us stuck and away from our dreams. Despite the confusion, sheer uncertainty, and ‘WTF just happened’ that I, and so many others, feel after treatment of advanced, widespread cancer as a young adult, I decided to start a business anyway. And what came of the experience? Five incredible learning moments that you can use to turn your sob story into a success story.
We have the opportunity to banish our fears. Fear lurks in every corner of life. We choose to either move past it or allow it to stop us. It’s really that simple. Creating a business made me realize how much I actually live in fear. Every little action step that it took to get a business up and running was met with my shadow of self-doubt and fear dressed up as excuses. We make excuses because feeling totally foolish and vulnerable is uncomfortable. In fact, some people choose to quit right when these emotions come up, unwilling to look them in the face and thus, unwilling to move forward. For me, it was getting back on the Facebook. Tremendously dreadful. Why? Everyone has a Facebook. Nope, not me. I didn’t like to put myself out there and found it to be not only an unnecessary distraction, but also, I was perceiving other’s lives to be grandiose and picture perfect and found myself in comparison to be inadequate. Comparison is the thief of joy. I accepted my distorted perception that I felt “not enough” as reality and went in a downward spiral of getting hung up in the minutia and let it stop me from creating the vehicle of my soul’s purpose.
We can learn to turn our weaknesses into strengths. We are too preoccupied with beating ourselves up on what our weaknesses are that we completely miss that we can turn them into strengths. I have the tendency to push through everything. I used to be that chick in yoga class who was totally aiming to “nail the pose.” In order to create my business and also stay well (that is, cancer-free), I had to stay as stress free as possible. This meant that I put myself at high risk if I pushed myself to work more hours after a 12 hour day job and of course, after my two kids fell asleep. It was a recipe for exhaustion and my illness would be begging to come back. So, I would channel the “push energy” I had to move past fear. I ended up pushing past all of the Facebook crap and just doing it. I reactivated my account after 4 years of being inactive and created a public page. Anyone and everyone can see it. And you know what? All the other weird, petty fears do not even matter now. I can use the platform to communicate messages that can inspire people and share the value that I have to offer to people: that it is possible to come out a happy, whole person after trauma and life-threatening illness.
Doing work that is fulfilling and of service is joyful and joy is a bottomless emotion. I would get so caught up in worrying about the outcome of what I was doing that I literally would forget that joy is possible in each moment. The process of sharing all of the knowledge that took me major trauma and thousands and thousands of dollars, time, and energy to acquire is a source of joy that being concerned about what others will think or if I am good enough robs of the sacredness of my journey. Compiling everything I’ve learned is such a source of joy that literally can keep life-giving energy in me, even when I’m feeling low.
We have so much more than we realize. All the articles and authors that I read consistently suggest a gratitude practice. I’ve been doing this for years and now, and finally, I’ve reaped its rewards. When I look at all of the knowledge I’ve acquired and everything I have, I realize that it’s so much. I told my coach in our first session, I almost died from cancer, what the hell do I have to offer people? She said point blank, you have everything to offer. The business I’ve created is my soul’s purpose. It is the material, physical representation of all that I have gained through the experiences I’ve had in my 30 year life. Most people react to my story with, “aw gosh, I’m so sorry” when in reality (and retrospect), the suffering I’ve experienced have been the greatest teachers. Trauma was the catalyst to my transformation.
The way we do one thing is the way we do anything. To heal from advanced widespread cancer as a young, working mama of two, it took getting honest with myself, looking at what I needed to change, and having the courage to not run from it. So many of us run. The same principle is true in business, too. There are people who thrive and people who could’ve thrived, but quit instead.
There will continue to be reason after reason why I should not continue on with this venture. I will fail and feel stupid. My goal isn’t to have the biggest, most glam biz ever. My goal is to feel free, nurturing, and of service, using all of the experiences from life, both good and bad, as tools for learning lessons and ultimately, evolving into a whole person who can share their gifts with the world. Easier said than done right? If little ole me- that girl that your mom’s friend at church feels so sorry for because I’ve lost a baby and had advanced, widespread cancer before the age of 30- can do it, then you can. You have everything you need within you.
