You are the creator of your life. You have a choice to either be a victim of life’s circumstances or to find the gift in them. I lived the first part of my life as a victim. That is until I decided to take back the power in my life. I began to realize that if I am the creator of my life then I must somehow be bringing life’s difficult situations to me to see myself. As I embraced this belief, I moved into a space of gratitude. It saved my life.
You are part of this wonderful, loving presence we call God. God is in everything; therefore, you are part of the whole. You are connected to all of it. When you make the decision to start loving yourself, opening up to make a divine connection, you’ll realize that you are not alone and never have been. You’ll see that God’s messages are everywhere, if you’ll just slow down and pay attention.
When you have an attitude of gratitude, the walls that had been built between you and your loved ones come down. By sharing your heart and what you’re learning about yourself through your relationships with them, you build intimacy with one another. Seeing all of my relationships as gifts has taken me to my heart. By sitting in gratitude for my kids, I am a happier, more joyful and playful mom.
It’s now been almost seven years since the day Steve left us. I would like to be able to say that the transition for my kids happened overnight, but it didn’t. The loss of a parent can be devastating. Thankfully, however, they have survived beautifully and are all thriving, successful young adults filled with compassion, empathy and understanding. All of them are wiser and healers in their own rights, as a result of their daddy’s passing.
I want to toot my own horn as a mom right now. This is not something that I normally feel led to do, but in this case, I do. With this issue of Aspire focusing on spiritual parenting, I feel it’s an awesome opportunity to share a story that happened recently with my youngest daughter, Kolbi. In it, you’ll see how powerful an impact your example can be when you as a mom choose to heal, parenting yourself first.
We mommas do anything we can to avoid being selfish. We want to be good parents. The truth, however, is that when you deny yourself to put others first, you disconnect from your heart and God. You create pain and suffering. This is why you feel angry, sad, frustrated, tired and hopeless about life. You’re not loving yourself. The sad thing about severing your heart connection and being a martyr is that, as you do, there is a tendency to throw your negative feelings at the people around you. THIS is being selfish. You’re not being loving when you blame your family for the lack of love you feel inside of yourself.
I went to New Orleans for the day this week. It wasn’t meant to be a pleasure trip, but that’s exactly what it turned out to be. I took Erly, a lady who has lived with us for 18 years, over to the federal building to have her work authorization papers updated. Erly is from the Philippines. She’s in her late sixties, has never had children, nor has she ever been married. I hired her as a live-in at the request of my late hubby, Steve, right before my youngest was born. She hasn’t worked for me since my girls were in elementary school, but has continued to live with us for free in exchange for cooking and laundry. Through the years, she has become one of our family.