Power Parent: How to Keep Your Kids Safe
by Christina Rondeau

Parents know that the world can be a dangerous place, but many don’t know how to protect their children from the people who can hurt them—or how to teach them to protect themselves. In Power Parent, professional self-defense instructor Christina Rondeau offers practical advice relating to child safety:

• Talking to your kids about danger without scaring them
• Who is and is not a stranger
• Identifying potentially dangerous adults
• Self-defense against abductors
• And much more

Power Parent, an excerpt:
As I walk through a store, a very sweet old man approaches me as I am pushing a carriage with my four-year-old in it. He walks right up to her and says, “Here, honey, have this lollipop. You’re such a pretty little girl.” Immediately I take the lollipop as he goes to hand it to her, and I reply nicely, “Thank you, but she doesn’t take candy from strangers.” A bit frazzled, he looks at me and says, “It’s just a lollipop.” I reply, “No, thank you,” as I walk away pushing the carriage. My four-year-old looks at me and says, “Mom? That was a stranger, right? We can just buy our own lollipop.” I smile at her, and then we talk about strangers and what just happened.    

There are so many little experiences you can use to teach your children. You can’t beat learning by experience; kids will remember something that is pointed out to them when it happens so much more than they will a conversation at home about what could happen.

That night my four-year-old lies beside me and brings up the store incident again. I am glad she brings it up, and I am glad she wants to talk about it some more. It is all part of her learning safety sense. She asks me all about strangers: “Mommy, is grandpa a stranger?” “No,” I reply. “Mommy, is auntie a stranger?” “No,” I reply. “Mommy, is your friend Erin a stranger?” “Yes,” I reply. “Why?” my daughter asks. “Well, we see grandpa and auntie all the time, and we go over to their houses, but we don’t visit Erin, and we only see her once in a while,” I respond.

The question that is so hard to answer is, who is a stranger? It’s easy to confuse our children, so I have learned to keep it simple. The people who my children see continuously are not strangers, and basically everyone else is. Strangers are not just the people we don’t know; our children must learn that even our occasional friends are strangers to them. We need them to understand this separation to keep them safe. It’s harder for a parent to tell a child that a friend is a stranger than it is for the child to accept the person as a stranger.

Labeling “Strangers”
You have to remember, when designating a person as a stranger to your child—it is not about who is a stranger to you. I know my friend Erin is not a stranger, but to my daughter, she is. Think about it this way: Let’s say you have a friend named Ted. He’s a family friend, and occasionally your children see him. One day your older child is walking home from a neighbor’s house, and Ted spots him or her walking. Ted pulls over and asks your child if he or she wants a ride home. Do you want your child to get in the vehicle alone with Ted? Maybe you don’t care and you know Ted is a safe family friend. However, what if you are wrong?

You have heard it before, and I will say it again: family members and friends molest children, and it’s always the person you least expect! Yes, it’s scary, so unless you specifically say, “Ted is coming over, and if he sees you walking, you can have a ride home with him,” your child should not get in the car. The bottom line is, even your friends are strangers, and Ted could be bad.
A stranger can be nice, old, young, handsome, beautiful, ugly, scary, kind, sweet, or gentle. A stranger can be a man, woman, child, teenager, teacher, and many other types.

My children meet a lot of people and are very social due to the nature of my business. One thing I like to do is ask them if the person they were just talking to is a stranger. I have them tell me why the person is a stranger, and then I tell them that strangers can be very nice and fun, but they are still strangers. Then I might say, “If that person just asked you to go outside to a car, would you go?”

You can play the Stranger Game when you are in a store or out anywhere in public with your children. Just talk and ask them who they think is a stranger. Point out everyone—other children, women, men, the store clerks, etc. If you have a conversation with a clerk or someone you know in the store, use that situation to ask your child if the person is a stranger. They may think that just because you said hello, the person is not a stranger. Talk about strangers and explain how these people are strangers to you, too, even though you are a grown-up.

Christina Rondeau is a champion kick-boxer, a training guru, the founder of Rondeau’s Kickboxing, and the author of The Elements of Staying Safe. Visit www.rondeauskickboxing.com for more information. First appeared in Apr/May 07 issue of aspire… Magazine.