A Different Step Along The Spiritual Path
by Kathy Black

The visit with my daughter in New York City had been a good one and the three hour drive home to Rhode Island was going well.  I had popped a cassette from Caroline Myss’ audio series on energy anatomy into the tape player and was enjoying her lecture on the first chakra when I heard her say that we often incarnate into a tribe where we don’t fit in order to find the motivation to “unplug” and move on.  I thought about this for a moment.  What if my decision to stop attending church had been my first step in unplugging from my tribe?  It had been a difficult decision, but after twenty years of doing the traditional Sunday morning routine, I decided that going to church just didn’t work for me anymore.  Sitting still in the pew had become, in more ways than one, increasingly uncomfortable.  The words to the hymns no longer resonated with my personal experience of God.  The sermons sounded foreign and did not relate to my life.  The familiar white building where weekly worship and monthly communion had once felt inspirational and reassuring now seemed more and more restrictive and strange. 

Or maybe I was the strange one.  For many months, I had tried to pretend that going to church was still okay and so I faithfully continued attending worship.  I tried hard to make it work by singing along with the hymns, substituting words like “love” for “blood” or simply humming along when I couldn’t come to terms with the theology.  I listened to the scriptures, cringing at the masculine language, mentally inserting “she” for “he” and alternating “God” and “Goddess”.  But in the end it was too much to reconcile and I left, haunted by the feeling that I just didn’t belong there anymore.  

Over time, I found other ways to celebrate my connection to Spirit. Walking in the woods or on the beach, I continued to listen to the still small Voice within, becoming more and more aware of the Light that shines inside each of us.  I lit candles, wrote in a journal, and created my own weekly rituals.  Eventually I began developing workshops and retreats for women who wanted to discover alternative ways of expressing their spirituality.  Even though I did not fully understand this phase of my spiritual journey, I had accepted it and finally felt at peace. 

Now here I was, months later, having an epiphany while driving south through Connecticut on Route 95.  In Myss’ words I had “unplugged from the tribe.” At some time or another we all are plugged into our tribe, be it the church, institutionalized medicine, our family of origin, or some other form of the tribal mind. Belonging to a group provides a strong sense of safety and protection, but sooner or later we come to realize that, in order to continue our journey, we need to step out on our own.  And we are ready to trust that all the guidance, encouragement and love we need will be provided as we follow our hearts and take personal responsibility for our spiritual development. 

As I reflected upon my new-found understanding, I felt a surge of joy through my body.  I took a moment to reaffirm my own wisdom and intuition, and congratulate myself on making a difficult and necessary move away from my tribe.  And with this shift in consciousness, I realized I was now willing to thank my tribe for being exactly the way they were, inspiring me to unplug and move on in my own spiritual journey.  I took a deep breath and relaxed into the seat of my car.  I truly was on my way home.

Kathy Black is a certified life coach, retreat facilitator, creator of Inner Light Coaching and co-creator of the Women’s Discovery Weekend retreats. www.innerlightcoaching.com

First appeared in the Feb/Mar07 issue of aspire… Magazine.