If You’ve Got It, Flaunt It…
by Wendy Barbeau

And you’ve got it! We’ve all got it. Intuition. The American Heritage Dictionary defines intuition as “The act or faculty of knowing or sensing, without the use of rational processes.” My more simplistic, but no less meaningful definition of intuition is, “The little voice deep inside that knows which choices will best serve you.”

Intuition is a funny thing in that, unlike most skills that become more developed as we get older, intuition, for many of us, fades away, day after day, year after year. Some of us never recover, while others—a few rebellious souls—do break away from the carnage (also know as the “mid-life crisis”). How does this happen, the collapse of intuition? I attribute it to a very nasty six-letter word, “should.” Should is to intuition like kryptonite is to Superman.

I believe that we all come into this world with a very strong sense of intuition. A newborn baby knows she is uncomfortable when she is hungry, tired, or wet. A toddler knows whether or not peas are pleasing to his palate. And a preschool child knows how to calm herself through releasing her frustrations. Children rely very heavily on intuition to guide them. How else could they get by? For a moment, imagine the newborn baby I mentioned conversing with herself: “Hmmm, I’m really hungry right now. But mom looks busy. Maybe I should wait just a little longer for her to finish cleaning the bathroom before I cry.” Or the toddler: “Oh, these peas are just dreadful. I really don’t care for them (gag, gag). But I should eat them because (gag, gag) they are filled with vitamins that are good for my (gag, gag) body (swallow).” How about the preschooler: “I am so angry Freddy took my shovel. I want to scream I’m so frustrated. But I should play nice. I should act like a big girl. I should share.”

By the time we reach elementary school, most of us have already learned to suppress our true selves. Throughout the next two decades of development, our families, schools, churches, communities, and the media will fill our minds with expectations. Although I can’t say where kryptonite gets its energy, I know that should is fueled by expectations. Every should we choose to impose on ourselves is another blow to our intuition. There is nothing sadder to me than an individual who is not honoring her true self, the person she was before the “noise” of the world crept in. It’s the ultimate tragedy—head conquers heart. 

We’ve all experienced a time when we felt that pang from inside that said to us, “Don’t do it,” but we ignored the message—our intuition—and did it anyway. The problem with consistently ignoring our intuition is that eventually we are no longer living our lives. We get stuck in a rigid script written by someone else, and this story may not bring us happiness. There is no “one size fits all” in life, and only you know how to live your life.

I am often heard saying, “I have the best job in the entire world.” What other career is solely dedicated to bringing out a person’s magnificence? And it’s so easy! I don’t need to teach my clients any new skills. They already have all of the information they need; they were born with it. I just remind them to honor it. Honoring our true self is the first step in trusting the power of intuition. Head and heart work in harmony.

Here is an example. Let’s imagine that an individual is considering making a career change. The untrusting self might say something like, “I should look for a new job. This one is getting me nowhere. But it pays well and I have benefits, so maybe I should just try to make it work.” Nowhere in this example is intuition in action. This is the head dominating the heart.

The trusting self, the one who is going to honor intuition, opens herself up to every possibility. She may say something like, “I could look for a new job. I’m ready to work in a career that honors my talents, interests, and values of _____ (fill in the blanks). I trust that I am capable of finding a job that pays well and has benefits, and this choice will allow me to feel magnificent!”

Now you try it: think of something in your life that you tend to “should” on. It may be associated with your career, relationships, health, personal growth, finances, etc. Instead of making a decision based on unrealistic expectations set by yourself and others, start by what I call “brainstorming with your heart.” Get a piece of paper and write down every idea that comes to you from deep inside, the place where passion flows. Allow yourself to feel with unlimited belief and possibility. Don’t censor or edit.  Write it all down, no bounds.

Next, get your mind into the act. With your list in hand, say to yourself:
1. “I could…”
2. “I am ready to…”
3. “This will honor my talents, interests, and values of…”
4. “I trust that I am capable of…”
5. “This choice will allow me to feel magnificent!”

There you go. You have just practiced using your intuition. Magic potions, clairvoyant powers, crystals, tarot cards, and spells are not needed—although they may be fun! Intuition is as simple as listening to your heart, and then using your mind to create a plan that honors the message your heart shared with you. The head does not overpower the heart. It supports it.

Learning to once again trust your intuition may seem overwhelming at first. If you feel more comfortable, start with little things like buying a new shampoo or enrolling in an enrichment class. Once you become at ease with trusting your intuition, you can try it with more weighty decisions. This is a process, but you can learn to trust “the little voice deep inside that knows which choices will best serve you.”

So, now that you’ve once again got it, go ahead…flaunt it!

ã 2007 Wendy Barbeau. Change, Journey and Growth Life Coaching. Wendy Barbeau has twenty years of experience as a teacher and trainer. She now works as a certified professional life coach. www.ChangeJourneyGrowth.com

First appeared in the Aug/Sept.07 issue of aspire… Magazine.