Money and Values                   
By Donna Krone

Answer these two questions. Why do you want money? What do you want money to do for you? Recently when someone asked these questions I found that I had to take a long pause before I was able to attempt an answer. Most of us spend so much time working to earn money and are so focused on immediate physical goals that we tend to not look at the bigger picture of what we want from money. It is that big picture however that acts as our internal compass to navigate us through our daily, even hourly financial decisions.  If we are not clear on what we want, the chance of our actually getting it are pretty slim.   

Having been a professional coach for several years I have a way to ground myself when questions like that come up.  The place I go to is the core values that I have identified for myself. They are my screening mechanism for all important questions and decisions.  What do I want money to do for me? I want it to help me build a life that is in alignment with these values. 

When I first heard people in the coaching profession talking about “values” I immediately thought of morals or ethics. I soon found out that for a Professional Coach, values have very different meanings. Values in the coaching world mean an individual’s essence - who they are at their core. Living your values is what makes you feel fully alive. When you are aligned with your values you feel a deep resonance. You feel that all is well with the world. For me, it is a visceral feeling.  Conversely, when you are not aligned with your values there is dissonance, like the sound and feel of a poorly-tuned violin. Too much time spent out-of-sync with your values leaves you feeling drained and worn. When your values are honored you are energized and deeply fulfilled.  

So how can you tell what your values are? The easiest way is to identify the times when you are feeling the most satisfied. It isn’t always the times when you are the happiest; it can be during very difficult times or challenging times that we are fully living in alignment with our values. As one woman described it, caring for her parents as they were dying was one of the most difficult AND the most fulfilling times of her life. Indeed, once you train your ear to listen you can hear clues to values in almost any conversation.

There are also exercises that can help. One such exercise is called the “peak moment exercise” It is a look back in time to the moments when all felt right with the world.

I have done this exercise many times and each time I envision a different picture and more information about my values. Once I was back in high school singing and dancing on stage with a group of theater friends; another time I was walking on the beach collecting shells with my mother and my two children; still another I was a young child playing in the mud with best friend. My number one value is connection with others. In all of those scenes, I was connected with my friends, my family or an audience. My second most important value is freedom. In all three peak moments, I felt completely free and fully alive. My values of spirituality, spontaneity, humor and serenity are also apparent when you dig deeper into my images.  A first step in creating what you want in life is to identify and explore your values.

So what does all this talk about values have to do with money?

Every day, we are faced with choices about what we will do with our money. We are bombarded with messages from the media clamoring for our attention and telling us that if we put our money in a certain direction, we will find happiness and fulfillment. More often that not, we are sadly disappointed when our purchases do not bring us what we had hoped they would. A better marketing campaign to tune into is your own internal wisdom and the messages it sends you. Your inner voice already knows your values. Putting your spending plan through a values test makes our choices easier and much more rewarding.  

Recently, my husband and I were talking about adding a room on to our house. My husband loves engaging himself in building projects, and he has been longing to sink his teeth into something new. I knew I would also enjoy a beautiful new room, but my inner voice was sending me a different message. A little more space to entertain is nice but how does it stack up against my value of freedom, spontaneity and connection? What pressure will this addition put on me in my work life? How will it impact my connection with my husband as we struggle to make decisions while building something that we are not in a position to afford right now? How does a new room impact my value of flexibility in my work and personal serenity?  Since debt has me feeling trapped instead of free, I knew immediately I would not be honoring my values if I were to take on a new loan. A new room would be enjoyable, but the feeling of freedom I get from living with little debt is far more fulfilling at this point in my life and my career. What I know to be equally true is that if I save money and pay for that new room in a few years, I would feel totally different about the project. I would feel proud of my accomplishment, and the room would become a tangible reward for my work. I would have a beautiful new living space and be honoring my need for freedom and simplicity. Perhaps the room would become a place for special connections with my friends and family ….now that would be money well spent! 

Donna Krone is a Certified Professional Coach and a Certified Financial Planner. Donna is the founder of TLL Coaching and Consulting in Massachusetts and a senior partner of Financial Conversations in Tempe, Arizona.  Visit www.tolovelife.com

First appeared in the Apr/May 2006 issue of aspire… Magazine.