In my Juicy Joy trainings, we love the word “want.” We wiggle our hips when we say it. We say it with a smug twinkle in our eyes. We luxuriate in the full-on certainty that “wanting” is nothing more than the first juicy-delicious step to “having.” If this doesn’t sound like your version of wanting, you need to learn this version. Otherwise you may as well give up the habit of wanting altogether, because it’s never going to get you anywhere.
You’ve probably heard that focusing your thoughts on your desires will bring them to you. But for many people, it’s nearly impossible to focus on their desires without simultaneously being drawn into painful awareness of the glaring absence of those things. And the more they pay attention to that absence, the more they ensure the continuation of it.
The truth is that your reality is not determined by what you want; it’s determined by what you expect. You could want mountains of things, but unless you believe, at a very deep level, that you deserve to have them and most certainly will have them, the wanting is doing you more harm than good.
Take the Wanting Test
• Draw a vertical line down the center of a piece of paper.
• On the left side, write down five things you want.
• On the right side, without thinking too much about it, jot down the top few honest feelings you have about each of these desires.
Look at the feeling words on the right side of your paper. Are any of them negative? If they are, it means you’re focused on the lack of what you want. You can’t get it that way. You can’t pull these desires into your life until you start authentically having nothing but positive feelings about them (which will indicate you believe they can be yours.)
Wanting should always feel delicious. If it doesn’t, that’s your cue to get to work on your beliefs. Paying lip service to a new belief doesn’t cut it. You can’t just smile and say, “I deserve to earn a monthly six-figure salary.” You have to authentically believe it. That’s the bad news. The good news is that once you get the believing down, the having becomes inevitable.
Your beliefs are nothing but habits. Breaking old habits and replacing them with new habits requires determination and desire. The more passion you feel for the things you want to create, the more dedicated you’ll be to mastering the habit of believing in yourself and your dream. To help cement that habit, you need to start living as if the fabulous life you imagine for yourself were already your day-to-day reality.
For example, if your goals are financial, you need to be very appreciative and celebratory about whatever money you do currently posses or are in the process of earning. Is there anything you’re spending money on right now that feels a little like a luxury? Do you berate yourself for this spending? If so, you’re energetically keeping your prosperity goals out of your reach. It’s imperative that you decide exactly what you plan to spend, and then, since you’re spending it anyway, enjoy spending it! Love every second of it and be grateful for the opportunity to make each purchase.
Make a list of nice things you own, or vacations you’ve taken, or anything you’ve used money for in the past. Saturate yourself in your appreciation for those things. Remember how you wanted them, and then bought them, and how much you enjoyed that moment. If you didn’t enjoy that moment, rewrite it in your memory so that you did. Appreciation for whatever money you currently have and whatever money you’ve had in the past is the surest ticket to accruing more money in your future. If this is hard for you—if you have trouble feeling deep appreciation for the things you’ve bought in the past—what makes you think that the things you want to buy in the future are going to make you any happier?
Create a daydream to reflect your goals, and fill it with colorful, vivid imagery that makes use of all your senses. For prosperity goals, write out a list of everything you’d buy if money were no object. What would you buy first? Imagine yourself writing that check or unfolding copious bills from your wallet, confident and joyful in your purchase. Imagine bringing that item home. What does it feel like to own it? Who would you show first? What specific kind of happiness would it bring you?
Focus on your senses. What would you buy next? Spend some time going down the list, feeling each item fully. What it would it feel like to have so much wealth? Where would you most like to be charitable? What would it feel like to write that check to your favorite charity?
Visit this imaginary world as frequently as you can. It should be so much fun you can’t wait to get there! Once you’ve worked with your daydream and your appreciation habits for a while, test for a shift in your beliefs with the following exercise.
Test Your Belief Shifts
Go to the imaginary world of your daydream. Whatever you most want, see yourself having it in spades. Beyond your wildest dreams. Get to the feeling place of that. From your perspective while you’re there, write down your answers to the following questions:
o What beliefs do I have about myself from this perspective of having what I most desire?
o What beliefs do I have about the world?
o What beliefs do I have about scarcity and abundance?
o What beliefs do I have about money?
o What beliefs do I have about men/women?
o What beliefs do I have about my own potential?
o What beliefs do I have about the power of the Universe to love me and assist me with my dreams?
Do the beliefs you listed while immersed in your imaginary world match your day-to-day, present-time beliefs? If not, it means you are not yet a vibrational match to your goals, and you are unwittingly impeding their fruition. You must get yourself to authentically adopt the juicy beliefs now.
• Make a list of facts that lend support to the beliefs you want to have. Gather as much evidence as you possibly can that the beliefs you have while immersed in your daydream are credible and worth adopting full-time. Go over that list until you can feel the new belief energy edging out the old.
Living your life as though your goals were already your reality will reinforce the habit of believing in your dreams. Speedy, phenomenal results depend not upon what you’re doing so much as they depend upon who you’re being and what you’re believing.
Want with gusto. Want with unwavering conviction and infinite faith. Or don’t bother wanting at all.
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