My best friend was a professional psychic. She made her living at it—and she was good. But by the time I became friends with her she had given up the profession that she was so skilled at.
This was bad timing for me. I loved psychics. From my very first encounter, when a 90-year-old soothsayer told me I’d be doing the work I currently do, I was hooked.
Back then I wanted seers to tell me my life was going to turn out okay—that I would become rich, happy, loved and successful.
But my friend gave up being a professional psychic for that very reason. People came to her to give them good news, although they were the creators of their life all along. “All I can read,” she told me, “is what the most likely manifestation will be. And any person can change that at will—so I didn’t think I was helping by insinuating that their future was on a fixed course.”
It took me a while to see it, but my friend gave me something far more valuable than a predictive reading. She taught me how to trust my inner knowing, my inner wisdom.
Whenever we talked about anything—from the most esoteric conversations to the most mundane—she would ask me: “What do you get?”
I remember the first time she posed that question. We were talking about the possible reasons I was having difficulties creating money. Suddenly she turned to me and asked, “What do you get?”
I was shocked. “I’m not a psychic,” I thought. “Why is she asking me?”
And then I thought a bit more about it, “Why not? Maybe I do ‘get’ things like she does.” And I felt inside—and I had an insight: “It’s safer for me to be a victim than to be successful.”
“Wow! I do ‘get’ things,” I thought.
My friend gave me a beautiful gift that day, and many days thereafter—a gift that has grown into a solid and trustworthy connection with my wise inner self. Trusting my inner knowing has made a huge difference in my life.
It has helped me know when my (conscious) creations are manifesting and just need more time, or when they are stalled and need belief work in order to move forward.
It has helped me know when to take action and when to sit back and allow my magic to work.
And it has guided me through all of the major (and many minor) decisions of my life.
My knowing wasn’t always accurate—wait, let me rephrase that. I didn’t always listen accurately to my inner knowing. But eventually I learned to listen accurately. Trusting my inner knowing has developed, over time. And you can develop yours too.
Some tips to help you develop trust in your inner knowing
1. Know you have it
That still, small voice is inside every one of us. It is our connection to the “more” of who we are. You can call it intuition, inner wisdom or your higher self. But it will lie dormant inside of you until you…
2. Give it time and space to speak
Your inner knowing isn’t going to tap you on the shoulder and insist you listen to it. You have to make the time and a quiet space for it to be heard. How?
It doesn’t matter—as long as you quiet your mind. You could take long walks in nature (alone). You could take luxurious baths or do yoga. You could meditate. You could simply stare out the window with a cup of tea
The most important thing is that you make the time regularly. But in order to know if you are listening to your wise, inner self, you must also…
3. Give your “negative self” equal time and space to speak
Your inner voice isn’t always your “wise self” speaking. There is a part of you that wants to sabotage you, to keep you small and that undermines your dreams and growth. I call that part the “negative self” and it’s just as important to let that part of you speak
Even five minutes a day of letting your negative self tell you how screwed up you are, how none of your dreams will ever come true, and how you will fail at everything you attempt, will help you to discern the “wise” you from the “negative” you
When they are done ranting, simply turn them over to your higher self to be healed. You will be amazed at how much lighter you feel after these sessions. But you’ll also want to…
4. Get reality check
Especially in the beginning, it can help to talk to people you trust about what you are “getting” from your inner self. Sometimes the information can be surprising, and it’s great to have others to confirm or deny what you are sensing
But remember, this is a process. And you’ll want to be careful to….
5. Trust it in little ways at first
If your “inner knowing” says to leave your marriage and join an ashram—don’t do it—unless you know you are listening accurately and it feels right to you. It will take time to trust your inner guidance. And you practice that trust by trying it out.
Ask your inner self how they suggest you spend a Saturday, for instance. But then, don’t blow off their advice. Do it. You won’t connect with that deep, wise place within unless you take this seriously. And then…
6. Remember what it feels like when you “get it”
You’ll feel it when you connect with the guidance system within you—either emotionally or physically, oftentimes both. It might be a tug in your belly. It might be be a chill down your spine. Or you might feel it emotionally—a peace or calm may come over you as you hit upon your inner truth.
When you do experience these telltale “signs” that you have connected to your truth, make note of it, so the next time you seek your truth you’ll know when you get it. And always…
7. Ask for help
You don’t have to do this alone. Your higher self, soul and other unseen friends want you to connect with your inner wisdom. Call upon them to help you out. They are always there for you, but you do have to ask for them to help. This is a free will universe and the rules are “hands off unless invited.”
Developing trust of your inner wisdom is one of the most valuable things you can do. When you have it, you move through life with confidence, solidity and peace—knowing that you are divinely guided all along the way.
I started reading this article thinking “well I do not really have an inner voice or guidance system or inner knowing or whatever you call it” I really thought this was not for me. And yet… I thought of these decisions I have taken in my life that were just right, that I just KNEW with conviction to be right for me. I thought about how I dull this voice , this conviction, how i have been doing it for a while; and when I got to the negative self part it just clicked.
I suffered from depression and I have had trouble to discern my negative self from my highre self, even though it has been years since my remission. I find it so much easier to just not listen if i am feeling negative because I do not want to experience these negative feeling again.
But what if it was on my terms, like Boni said? then I would not have to believe it to be true and I would still vent these thoughts and maybe even turn them around, prove them wrong.
So much possibilities and a sense of liberation. thank you Boni!
Hi Anne,
You are most welcome. And please know, you are not alone. Very few of us were taught to recognize, listen to and respond to our inner knowing. And I fully understand you’re wanting to ignore the negative voice. But the funny thing is, when we listen to it, instead of gaining power it loses it. The one thing we must remember, though, is that it will never tell the truth. Once we understand that there is a negative part of us, and it can’t stop us unless we let it, we are so much more empowered.
I honor you Anne, for overcoming depression and still searching, reading, growing. It takes a strong, knowing woman to do that.
with love,
Boni