I lived the first part of my life as a victim. That is until I decided to take back the power in my life. I began to realize that if I am the creator of my life then I must somehow be bringing life’s difficult situations to me to see myself. As I embraced this belief, I moved into a space of gratitude. It saved my life.
For most of my life I did not know what it meant to sit in gratitude. I said “please” and “thank you” as I was taught. But I didn’t know that life’s daily situations are all gifts and avenues to create a connection to one’s heart. It was only when I decided to heal and take full responsibility for my life that I shifted my consciousness from being a victim to seeing every situation as an opportunity to discover my true self.
Your life is a series of opportunities to learn and grow. For instance, has someone ever said a statement to you that you rolled over and over in your head? Well, there was a gift in that. If you reacted to those remarks in any way, it’s because they mirrored false beliefs sitting in your subconscious mind. God was trying to get your attention to heal your life.
Teresa is an Enlightened Mom. One of the greatest gifts she received from my class was that she realized that the demands she thought her husband was putting on her were actually demands she expected of herself. These demands were based in false beliefs that told her how she “had to be” as a wife. Teresa felt like a victim. These beliefs caused a lot of resentment towards her hubby. However, when she realized she was doing this to herself out of some past beliefs that said she had to perform for him, all of her resentment dissipated.
The process I’m about to share with you is what helped Teresa and me heal. It will help you clean up the negativity in your life, too, so you no longer feel like a victim. I’d like to invite you to think about a trying situation you’ve experienced or that you are currently experiencing. The first step is to give thanks for it. You are not a victim to this situation. As a spirit, you created it and brought it to you so that you could have a human experience to learn about yourself and grow.
Read through the steps of The Retrieving the Gift of Love Process below to familiarize yourself with them. Then do the exercise for the situation you have in mind. Here’s the key: know that if you are reacting negatively in any way to someone or something, it is because the little girl inside of you is in pain. She is living from false beliefs and doesn’t feel she has permission to be who she is, and, thus, reacts negatively. You’ve drawn the situation to you so your feelings can guide you to your heart, showing you how you’re limiting yourself. You release the pain by giving yourself permission to honor and love the way you were created. And as you do, you no longer see life’s difficulties as problems, but as messengers from God.
Retrieving the Gift of Love Process
- Get grounded and create an intention for the healing. Visualize the problem you thought about a few minutes ago as solved. This is not about planning how to solve it, but simply seeing how you want the situation to end. Feel the excitement throughout your body, knowing that it is healed.
- Visualize your inner child and ask her what feelings are surfacing as she thinks about this trying situation. Feel free to write or just visualize this conversation, or hear it. Allow the little girl within to tell you everything. If for some reason you can’t see your inner child then talk to your angel, your spirit guide, or God.
- Feel your emotions that the situation is creating. To be able to release the pain, you must move into it, not resist it. Feel free to write your feelings, or, if need be, beat your bed. Do whatever you need to express yourself in a safe, loving way.
- See the reflection of the situation. Whatever is going on in your life right now is usually a reflection of a similar situation in the past where you took on the original false belief that is now running your life. Allow the current situation to take you as far back in your memory as possible to a similar situation where you felt the same kind of pain. Ask your inner child what negative or limiting belief she took on in that original picture? For example, many of the moms I work with don’t feel as if their hubbies hear them. Most of them blame their spouses. But when they ask what the reflection is, they often discover a childhood belief that says they aren’t worthy of being heard.
- Ask your inner child “What is your truth?” Allow all of her thoughts to come forward, continuing to ask questions to help you get to the bottom of what you really believe is right for you.
- Give your inner child permission to be who she is.
- Release all the energy related to the negative belief. See it draining down off of you and fill yourself up with the light of God, saying a great big “Thank you!”
The Retrieving the Gift of Love Process is a step-by-step guide to help you heal your life. The main points are to feel everything and to ask what is hurting so that you get to the bottom of what’s causing your negative reaction in the first place. Chances are, it’s a false belief you’ve probably been carrying for a lifetime. Let it go. Then give yourself permission to live from your heart. By doing this process, you no longer feel like a victim, and instead, become empowered to deal with all of life’s daily situations with gratitude and love.
©2010. Terri Amos-Britt. Adapted from The Enlightened Mom: A Mother’s Guide for Bringing Peace, Love & Light to Your Family’s Life.