“We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.” –Roderick Thorp, Rainbow Drive
Many of us grow up watching fairytales and adopt the childhood belief that love is finding the perfect partner, being swept off our feet, and living happily ever after. What we sometimes encounter is a more modern reality of a fast paced life, climbing the ladder of success and a less than fulfilling relationship or two. After travelling on the road of life for a while, we get to an age where we figure out that love is important in our life, but the most important kind of love we seek to fulfill us is self-love. Sometimes we come upon this knowledge on purpose and sometimes it just happens on accident. We discover that the moments we are secure, self-confident and self-loving, then life works better. We find when we have a purpose, appreciate ourselves, commitment to self-made goals and contribute to society, we feel self-love. We experience patterns in that. We figure out that like everything in life, we attract what we feel we deserve. The way that we treat ourselves and value ourselves goes on to set the standards for others.
When you are feeling less than loving towards yourself or your situation, try adapting these 5 tips to help you to improve your self-confidence, self love and self-acceptance:
1. Accept who and where you are now. Enjoy life. Treasure yourself. Enjoy the people, places and situations of today. Show gratitude for the life you have. To accept yourself as you are now does not mean you are not trying to improve, but that you are who you are now and will be even better with additional growth and development. If you are not happy with the situation, change it. You have a choice each day to change your thoughts, change your words, change your actions and change your beliefs.
2. Stop criticizing yourself. Constant judgment and negative self-talk are not motivators-they actually breakdown your spirit. Full acceptance as you are now coupled with the desire to change builds your spirit. Keep your thoughts, words and actions positive.
3. Forgive yourself and apologize when necessary. Each of us would like to have a “do over”. We all have regrets. We all make mistakes. We all have learned lessons the hard way. Now is the time to observe the size and importance of those lessons. Look back to where you have been and reflect on what you could have done differently and learn the lesson. Let go of negativity, keep the past in the past and focus on creating the future.
4. Start to take small risks. If you have a specific fear that stands in the way of your goals, take small steps towards moving through it. Fears can be overcome. Fears are nothing more than “False Expectations that Appear Real.”
5. Love yourself anyway. If you feel you are not good enough, love yourself anyway. If you feel you are undeserving, love yourself anyway. If you feel like you did something wrong and unforgivable, love yourself anyway. If you feel you may feel, love yourself anyway. If you are afraid to take the next step, love yourself anyway. Loving yourself means that you treat yourself with respect. Taking care of your mind, body and spirit. Do things that make you feel special and that help you move forward in life.
Remember, loving yourself takes time and patience. Please don’t get discouraged if it’s slow going at first. Thoughts and feelings embedded deep in your subconscious mind take time to harvest and change. Invest this time and patience in yourself…you deserve it!