12 Tips to Move Toward Loving Acceptance

As the watcher of my thoughts, I have learned that… There is no need for forgiveness where judgement does not first exist. I remember when I came into the awareness that if I ever felt I needed to forgive somebody, it was because I’d had an expectation of them and judged them for not meeting it.  That startling revelation was a bucket of ice cold water thrown over me, waking me to my own limitation.

Forgiveness is only a requirement of the ego mind, which makes its modus operandi a full theatrical production. Farce or tragedy, I’ll leave that to you. The stage is set as we hold the bar up and ask people to rise to it. We seem completely oblivious to the fact, that this, of course, means positioning ourselves above them. Suddenly, they become adversaries, even those closest to us, because that’s how we treat them when we decide they’ve done us wrong. And we buy this contrived concoction, served up by ego, with incessant whispers of the pain “they’ve” put us through, and the suffering “they’ve” caused. Oh, how we fool ourselves as ego tricks us into simultaneous stints of both victimhood and superiority. The absurdity of such a dichotomy is always a sure sign that our psyches are being tampered with. Yet, we indiscriminately fall for it, because it’s an easier route than holding our hearts open. Thus, begins the myriad of ways in which we undermine our relationships.

We willingly listen, when ego promotes expectation in the name of Love. We watch, as ego vitriolically criticizes our loved ones, whilst evincing that we deserve so much better. Beguiled by our own insecurities, we accept this conjecture, caught completely unaware of the pathological co-dependence we are creating with this insidious usurper who lives in our minds. We even go so far as to convince ourselves that we’re merely sticking up for ourselves with our self-serving demands. Arms flail, we throw the backs of our hands to our foreheads as tears splatter forth, and we give Academy Award worthy performances, without all the perks and paychecks.

None of it gives us any sense of peace or satisfaction. It doesn’t feel right, because it isn’t. The more we become disillusioned and disappointed by relationships, the more our expectations grow. As our expectations grow, our feelings of righteousness begin to elicit a startling propensity for nose-in-the-air-itis. From expectation, we are led to a prevailing sense of entitlement. From there, we don our robes, hop up on our benches, and dole out judgement on all those who come before us daring to behave in a manner we deem unbefitting of the laws we’ve set out in our own minds. From victim, to judge and jury, we move onto warden, becoming curators of punishment and penance, deciding how they will earn our forgiveness. Thus is the folly of forgiveness.

Now back that up! Does any of this sound loving to you? Who do we think we are?! And that’s the crux of the problem. Throughout this performance, we’ve forgotten the truth of who we are.  We’ve forgotten our true role: our role – as the one who loves . Love has no motive but to fulfill itself and to take action through kindness, compassion and acceptance. Love exists in recognising ourselves in each other, knowing that as we reach to console, we are in turn consoled.

*** Everybody is always doing the best they can, whether we see this so or not, and whether they disappoint us or not. This can be hard to accept when we’ve seen them do better. But in every instance where a different choice was made, some other element was either present that was not there before, or missing, that had been. Literally, in each instance, we give the best we have in that moment based on our mind’s perception and the feelings that drive us. We are all responsible for the energy we choose to bring to the world. It is only our own actions for which we must hold ourselves accountable.

[Tweet “”When we lead with Love, every single moment becomes an opportunity to tune into our awareness and strengthen our connections.” @LetMeMoveYou”]

12 Tips for moving toward loving acceptance:

1. Understand that you are responsible for the way you perceive your life and other people.
2. Know that everyone has their own path to walk and  their own lessons to learn.
3. Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved.
4. Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you.
5. Detach from emotion and look at the experience from the other person’s vantage point.
6. Live fully in the present moment. Leave the past where it belongs and know that the future will always be what you make of it.
7. Put your energy into solution instead of focusing on perceived problems.
8. Welcome possibility and let go of your notion of how things should be.
9. Embrace every challenge knowing that it brings you closer to uncovering your inner truth.
10. Make a commitment with yourself to lead with love and kindness in every moment, no matter how hard it might sometimes seem.
11. Be grateful for every moment no matter what it brings.
12. Understand that you get to be right or you get to be happy. When you choose happy, you get to be both.

Just imagine what a love like that can do for the world!